it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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