Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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