Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
