Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
