So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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