If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
