ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize