how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just want to make out with him forever
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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