I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
