On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
