Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can't turn off my feet"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
