Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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