She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just pee around me
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize