Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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