Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
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