i would punch a child for taco bell
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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