quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
