I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
