Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize