and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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