Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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