Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
