What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
