Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
