she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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