OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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