Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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