I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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