she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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