Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
