Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
