$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
