So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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