I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
