I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
