All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
