i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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