does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
