Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
