I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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