Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
