Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
