Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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