'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
