If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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