margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
