do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
