Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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