and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize