it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You are a genius and a whore.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
