CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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