Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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