Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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