I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
