haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
