dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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