He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
