I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize