I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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