dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i think i have herpe
just one?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
