She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
