I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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