I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
