she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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